Get Some Sleep,You Little Shit (Rivaille x Reader)

The gigantic hand wrapped itself around me. Constricting. Suffocating. These fleshy walls crushed my ribcage as if it were just a mere twig. The smile on this titan’s face was wretched. Disgusting like all the others that I’ve seen and killed. Yet this time, I was the prey. This smile that I oh-so despised. This smile that I’ve seen countless times before. This smile that my dead comrades have been graced with before their fall. I wanted to wipe it off with these blades in my hands. Resistance to this monster was futile, however, as its mouth opened wide to reveal the dark abyss that signaled my death.

Despite all of the brave words that I’ve previously mentioned, I screamed. The brave soldier in me was reduced to a weak coward.

I woke up in darkness, save for the one candle that illuminated my tiny room. Drenched in a thin layer of sweat, I gasped for breath. There it was again, that horrid nightmare. For the third day in a row that vision haunted me, snatched away my precious sleep.

After the last expedition, I found myself unable to rest. It was either the scene of the titan’s death grip taking over my mind or the striking red color of blood that painted the corpse of my fellow cadets. The room suddenly seemed emptier, darker, as if it were closing in on me. I shrunk closer to the corner where my bed was placed and laid there curled up in a ball.

Sleep never came to me though, no matter how hard I tried.

Dawn slowly made itself present as bits of light escaped through the window and brightened up the room. Without missing a beat, I hopped off my bed and began to dress up in my uniform, anxious to escape the dark confines of this place.

Perhaps it was just my mind playing tricks on me but I just cannot shake off the feeling that something was watching me in here. It’s cheesy to say that danger was lurking right around the corner but it felt so true to me at the moment. I knew that I was in the safety of the Scouting Legion’s HQ but after that last trip out of the walls, I wasn’t so sure anymore. Something changed, as if the world has gotten smaller and darker.

The beds that belonged to my previous roommates were removed immediately after their death was announced. I watched them die. I was there when the titans had them in their grasp. It was too late; I couldn’t save them. They were far away. Too far for my bare legs to run to, too far for the wires of my 3dmg to latch onto. All I could do was watch in agony as they dropped one by one.

The nights afterwards, a single, selfish thought continuously ran through my mind. What if I was next? As a soldier, it was not acceptable for me to think such an absurd thought, but as a human being, it was inevitable to do so. This provoking thought fueled my fear and chased away my sleep.

My reflection sickened me. As I looked back at the person in the mirror, I was surprised. My skin was noticeably paler and dark bags formed under my eyes due to the lack of sleep. If Rivaille was next to me I’m sure he would compare my appearance to that of shit.

Speaking of the Corporal, I’m sure he was beginning to notice my change and was suspicious. Two days ago, he had caught me multiple times dozing off during cleaning. Obviously, the man did not appreciate the gesture and opted to assign me an extra hour of cleaning the stables. So not only did I look like shit right now, I smelled like it too. Horse poo is not an easy stench to get rid of.

Yesterday’s training was a difficult time. I chose a long sleeved shirt, as it was much warmer for my weakened state, yet it proved to be a disadvantageous choice for me. That, along with the fact that I only received about half an hour of shut-eye, caused me to be flipped countless times by Erd during yesterday’s hand-to-hand combat session. Rivaille had clicked his tongue distastefully at me and walked away afterwards but I knew that he was suspicious. For the rest of yesterday’s training, I caught him watching me under multiple occasions.

Thankfully, the one thing that didn’t change about me was my eating habits. During the last several days, my appetite has only lessened slightly, barely noticeable at all. The last thing that I needed in addition to those sleepless nights is a lack of a proper diet.

During today’s lunch break, the Corporal pulled me aside into the empty hallway.

“Oi, what the hell is up with you these last few days?” He asked.

“Hm? What do you mean? I’m fine.” I asked him, trying to avoid the topic. He scoffed at my attempt to dodge the subject.

“For one, you look like complete shit today. Two, you smell like-“ He wrinkled his nose. “Auruo.” I held back a laugh. Did he just admit that Auruo, Rivaille’s biggest fan, smelled like a pile of horseshit?

“I’m fine, it’s nothing. Just a bit of a cold is all. I have dish duty today so I’ll see you later Corporal.” I lied and tried to sneak back into the kitchen. The ever-attentive superior of mine, however, caught onto my lie and held onto my arm.

“Cadet (L/n),” He whispered darkly into my ear. “Do you understand the consequences of lying to me?”

“Ahaha, two weeks of toilet duty?”

“Heh. It’s much, much worse. Tell me the truth.” His grip tightened.
“I- Corporal…I just-“ I couldn’t find the right words to continue. I took a deep breath and continued, deciding to tell him the truth. “To be honest, I couldn’t sleep for the last few days. I don’t know why. I think I’m just being paranoid or something but my room just makes me feel…uncomfortable. I try my hardest to fall asleep but something in there gives me this uneasy feeling. It’s unsettling and I find myself wide-awake on the corner of my bed, waiting for the sun to rise. It’s not a big deal, really. I’m sure it’s just a phase that will pass soon.”

He was silent after listening to my explanation and only nodded before he quietly dismissed me. I trudged back into the kitchen with relief. It felt kind of good to be able to tell someone else about my troubles.

My day didn’t just end there, however. Just as I was about to turn in for the night, my bedroom door was forced open and I shrieked at the intruder. I hid under the covers, as if that flimsy little thing could possibly protect me.

“What are you doing…you idiot.” I would recognize that monotonic voice anywhere.

“Corporal?” I quietly spoke and slowly emerged from the covers. He had stripped himself of his military jacket and his harness, which left him clad in a simple white button up shirt, white pants, and his signature cravat around his neck.

“I’ve come to observe your situation.” He informed me.

“Okay. Um, what do you want me to do?”

“Go to sleep.” With slight awkwardness, I crawled under the warmth of the blankets and Rivaille pulled out a chair and sat within ten feet of me. I tossed and turned for quite a long time, uneasy with the fact that my own boss was watching me sleep. I drifted off before I even realized it.
---
My comrades were in front of me again; their facial features clear as day in my memories. Stomp! There goes one. Smash! There goes another. One by one, I watched the same scene unfold just like the countless times before.

“No!” I screamed. “Don’t go! Don’t…don’t leave me…I don’t want to be alone anymore. Please…”

Like a repeat of last night’s dream, I was snatched up by the same, hideous titan. This time, I lost the will to fight back and I watched with dull eyes as the blades shimmered in the air and tumbled to the ground. There’s nothing left for me here. Everyone will eventually die and leave me all alone.

“Wake up, you little brat.” Hm? Corporal? Funny. Even before my death I can still hear his voice.

“Hey, I said wake up.” I closed my eyes before I could see the Titan bring me closer to its mouth.

“Damn brat, wake up!” Rivaille cursed under his breath as he tried to shake the female awake.

“Shit. (L/N), wake up!” The Corporal frowned at the cadet thrashing about in her bed, shouting out pleas and crying the names of her deceased comrades. Rivaille shook her one last time and her (e/c) orbs flashed open. The dark haired man visibly tensed at the sight of her tear-streaked face.

“C-Corporal…” Her soft voice wavered. As much as Rivaille despised it, he allowed (name) to rest her snotty face onto his shoulder.

“You’re such a troublesome idiot.” He whispered as he listened to her sniffles. While Rivaille has seen endless amounts of soldiers crying over lost allies before, he’s never been one nor has he ever been within close contact of one. For once, the ever-stoic soldier was feeling a bit lost. What should he do? Should he pat her back? Should he cradle her body and gently rock her back and forth like a mother to her children? Neither of these choices seemed to fit his personality at all and so Rivaille decided that he would wait until the girl calms down.

As her sniffling and weeping died down, Rivaille stiffly brought his hand up to give her head a pat. She pulled away and looked up to her superior with wide eyes. He disregarded her curious gaze with a “tch”.

“I’m sorry about your shirt.” She apologized and stared at the wet spot beginning to form on the shoulder of his white shirt.

“Whatever. It’s nothing.” He lied. Obviously, Rivaille minded very much but now wasn’t the time to worry about a small stain. “I’ve figured out what your problem is.”

“Hm? Really?”

“You fear of being alone, aren’t you? Your friend, your fellow squad members, they’ve all left you. I know you watched them die during the last expedition. Their belongings were immediately taken out after, leaving this spacious room all to you and you alone.”

(Name) shifted her gaze to focus on her fingers resting on her lap.

“Yeah…”She agreed as she finally accepted the truth. The truth that was obvious since the beginning. The truth that she couldn’t bring herself to think about. Her friends, the ones that she’s spent so much time with, went through three years of rigorous training with, they were gone, wiped off the face of the earth.

“Yeah, I just…it was so sudden and they’re just gone. Every night I see the same thing playback in my mind and it felt so real! Like I still had a second chance at saving them, but it always ends up the same way…” Rivaille nodded.

“I’ll be sleeping here tonight.”

“Huh!?” She gaped at the man with surprise and confusion written all over her face.

“I’m not going to walk all the way across the building to get to my room at this time of the night, idiot.” He headed towards the couch. “I’m sleeping here.”

“Oh. Okay, Corporal.” The last candle was snuffed out by Rivaille as he made himself comfortable on the couch. “Good night Corporal, and…thank you.”

“Hm. Shut up and get some sleep.” The room quieted down except for the crickets chirping outside.
---
The night progressed yet I still did not get any further in my pursuit of sleep. From the window beside my bed, I watched the stars sparkle in the sky as the moonlighted painted everything a soft shade of yellow. It sure would be nice to take a walk outside right now.

I held my breath for a second and heard Rivaille’s even breathing. Good, he must be asleep. I doubt that I would actually get anywhere tonight so I might as well make use of my time awake by doing some exercise. I tried to be as quiet as possible, in fear of waking the Corporal up. The bed creaked as I got up and I paused for a full minute before I decided it was safe to move on.

I tried to be as stealthy as possible but that proved to be quite a failure as Rivaille’s voice rang through the empty air.

“Where do you think you’re going, Cadet?”

“I was going to take a walk, sir.”

“I thought I told you to go to sleep, you little shit.” I flinched at the coldness of his tone. I guess the Corporal is cranky when he doesn’t get his beauty sleep.

“I just can’t sleep no matter how much I try though! It’s like my mind is preventing me from falling asleep despite how much my body actually needs the rest! What if…what if I don’t ever get to sleep again!?” I cried, feeling the tears about to return. Rivaille sighed and stayed quiet for a very long time, as if he were deliberating a very serious subject.

“This is why you’re such a troublesome brat...” He muttered as he shifted on the couch. “Come on, I have one last plan.” His hand brushed against mine in the dark and he held onto it. Across the room, he tugged me along, towards my bed.

“Lay down.” He ordered and released my hand. I climbed onto the bed and waited for further instructions, anxious to see what the captain had in mind. He said nothing and laid on my bed right beside me and pulled the covers over us.

“Sleep.” He grunted as he pulled me into his chest. I was too nervous to speak. Afraid that if I talked, this moment would be ruined. I opted to close my eyes and boldly laced my fingers with the Corporal’s, enjoying the warmth of his hand. He did not complain about the contact and instead, he placed a kiss on my forehead.

“You better get to sleep this time, annoying idiot.”

“I will.” I promised and felt my consciousness begin to slip away as I listened to the even rhythm of his heartbeat.
---
I slept well into the middle of the next day. It was late afternoon by the time I awoke and shockingly, the Corporal was still fast asleep next to me. I guess he needed the rest as well. I watched him for a while, admiring the peaceful cuteness on his sleeping face. Eventually, I knew that I had to wake him up. He has a whole squad to lead after all.

“Corporal?” I lightly tapped his shoulder. “Corporal Rivaille, wake up. It’s daytime already.” He groaned and gripped onto my waist with a certain feel of possessiveness. “You have to wake up, Rivaille! The squad’s probably waiting for you out at the training grounds already.” He opened his eyes and blinked twice at me.

“The hell?” He questioned as he sat up and stretched. “Shit.” He cussed as he looked out the window at the bright rays of the sun.

“Did you sleep well last night?” He asked me as the two of us walked towards the training grounds together.

“I did, and it’s all thanks to you.” I beamed at him and he looked to the side. “So…I’m guessing that you’re going back to your room tonight, sir?” Parts of me hoped that he would say ‘no’ and stay with me for another night.

“When the hell did I ever say that?” He snapped. I laughed, relieved that I’ll have him by my side again.

As we approached the area, a flurry of catcalls and teasing remarks greeted us.

“Looks like Corporal’s got a girlfriend.” My face heated up as I heard one of the members call out.

“I-It’s nothing like that! I swear!”

Rivaille narrowed his eyes and ordered them all to drop to the ground and do sixty push ups, even poor Petra who was not involved with the teasing fest at all. Rivaille walked past me and shot me a knowing glance. His fingers brushed against my subtly as he made his way over to scold some of the new recruits. I smiled as I suddenly recalled the dream that I had last night.

A vast area of water, the color of the sky, was laid out in front of us. “This is the sea.” I was told. It was the most beautiful sight that I’ve ever seen. This world is finally a place where Titans no longer exist. We are free. The Scouting Legion’s emblem, our Wings of Freedom, fluttered in the air. A sign of mankind’s victory.  

“Tch. Look at all the idiots down there celebrating.” The voice says, directing the statement towards the surviving soldiers splashing around in the water. Contrary to the tone of his voice, the look on his face showed happiness. Corporal Rivaille’s face was graced with a lovely smile. Finally, after years of tireless fighting, we were free from the grasp of the Titans. We were free.

I grinned at the innocent and far away dream of mine. Someday, I will definitely live to see the sight of the sparkling sea and the smile on the Corporal’s face. Someday. Until then, I will keep fighting.

“What the hell are you smiling like an idiot about? Get to work, Shitty Brat.” Rivaille barked from a distance. I ran towards him with the foolish grin of mine.

“Yes sir!”